Preston Leadership Blog

You and Your Boss

I read a great blog post by Linda Hill and Ken Lineback in Harvard Business Review called “In Pursuit of a Better Boss”. I liked their emphasis on accountability. In my experience, many “bad bosses” are parties to a dysfunctional relationship; and one that can be fixed if both sides are willing to work at it.

It won’t surprise anyone that good communication is the foundation of a mutually rewarding and productive relationship at work. When we trust each other we can disagree without emotion, and be challenged without getting defensive. Getting all the best ideas out on the table assures the best decisions.

One of the bosses I particularly enjoyed working for at eBay, Mike Bringuel, once said, “Smart people should disagree”. He wouldn’t let his team sidestep disagreements to maintain harmony. After a brief adjustment period, we got used to it and became a much more productive group.

The trend toward more candor at work may sound counter-intuitive in today’s hyper-litigious workplace, but it’s not. The better we get at expressing ourselves in ways that don’t cause problems, the better off our companies will be.

Lots of people are afraid to disagree with their boss or other executives! I hear stories all the time from CEOs who have built teams of yes-people. They complain about not getting honest feedback. Hill and Lineback say that both sides have a responsibility to fix it.

I couldn’t agree more. In work relationships where the stakes are high, there’s a hierarchy and pressure to perform, people can become tentative. What they need to do is learn to speak up appropriately. Bosses need to prove that they can take it by not attacking subordinates who challenge them. It takes time but the payoff is huge.

The Feedback Generations

"Let me give you some feedback." That simple phrase often sets the stage for some degree of defensiveness. Most of us, without even realizing it, anticipate a need to defend ourselves when we hear those or similar words. The old fight or flight response kicks in - even when there is no physical threat.

But some of us handle feedback much better than others.  I've noticed that Generations X and Y (a.k.a "Millennials") are, in general, better at receiving feedback than Baby Boomers; and their future looks bright because of it. What can we learn from this?

They Start Young

We Baby Boomers take pride in our independence and self-sufficiency. Men in particular don't tend to ask for help until it's absolutely necessary.  Add to that your mother's advice: "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Politeness aside, the idea of giving constructive feedback is something many leaders struggle with regardless of their age or position in an organization.

But a large percentage of post-Baby Boomers grow up with experience on some kind of team. They are more accustomed to feedback and have always had convenient communication technology at their disposal. Virtually chatting with several friends simultaneously hasn't been commonplace for all that long. Some would argue that the proliferation of Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and even e-mail has led to social isolation, but I see it differently.

Requests for feedback and customer experience ratings have become ubiquitous. We are quickly learning about the power of perceptions and the value of viewpoints besides our own. Our always-on, Internet-connected society makes it incredibly easy to request, receive and provide feedback. Certainly there are issues as a result - such as the 'false courage' that plays out as nothing more than passive-aggressive disrespect, but thoughtful constructive feedback is a higher form of social interaction that ultimately serves the common good.

For Generations X and Y, giving feedback feels more like a social obligation. And receiving feedback is just the other side of the coin. We don't have to like it but we should certainly aim to get used to it.

By embracing an open channel of regular two-way feedback, leaders will be more accountable, more informed and more involved with their peers, subordinates and customers. Fortunately for future generations it will seem like old hat.
 
Social networking has connected and re-connected countless millions of people by methods not available only a short time ago. Many a formal and informal support group has been created, opening the floodgates of feedback and constructive criticism. But I hope that society as a whole learns how to give and receive feedback more appropriately (and consistently) in cyberspace. Chances are good that the leaders of tomorrow will have mastered it, and if so their own careers as well as those of the people who report to them will be well-served.

“We Could Do That So Much Better!”

How many times have you experienced bad service and said to yourself, your spouse or your friends, "we could do that so much better!" The truth is that we probably could, if we only had the resources, the experience, the opportunity and…most importantly, the drive. What's common to most lousy service is lack of drive.

What bothers me most, and should bother all leaders, is complacency. When people take their paycheck for granted, service always suffers. OK maybe you hate your job, and maybe you feel that you're underemployed, I get that. But that has absolutely nothing to do with the way you perform your responsibilities and serve your customers.

I was having lunch with some leaders from Green Lawn Fertilizing the other day when this very subject came up. Green Lawn has provided exemplary customer service to thousands of customers for many years. They know the difference between average service and exemplary service. How do they do it in a business that is very competitive and logistically demanding? They are simply driven by results, not effort.

Effort is fundamental to success, but it's not everything. Do your best and oftentimes you get the result you want, but sometimes you don't - and that's reality. Problems come in when leaders mistake activity (or effort) for results. It's tempting to be sure; Herculean efforts should not go unnoticed, but results are what should generate meaningful rewards. Acknowledging extra effort is not the same as rewarding results.

Examples abound. Let's say Jack is very tired after a long day on his feet dealing with customers who have been inconvenienced. Just before the end of his shift, an equally weary customer presents him with yet another tedious and challenging problem to solve. It takes every bit of his remaining energy (and some extra time) to provide the level of service he is expected (and paid) to provide.

Extra effort is expended and the customer is satisfied. It took a lot of effort for Jack at the time, but the result for the customer was not exceptional. Does he deserve special recognition for digging deep in his 11^th hour? No.

Now Sally encounters an equally challenging customer. She takes a minute to think about the problem and to see things from the customer's perspective. She expends some effort to do this and figures out the best way to thrill the customer. Not a lot of effort, but an optimal result. Reward? Yes! Does Jack feel somehow cheated? These days, perhaps, but he certainly was not.

As leaders, we should maintain our focus on results over effort every time. Employees who are great at their jobs may have learned to excel with nominal effort – good for them. Give them more challenges right away! But employees who toil away and expect recognition because of their struggles just deserve encouragement…not necessarily reward.

A Swing and a Miss!

What a blast it is to hit a piñata! Fellow party-goers blindfold you, spin you around, and then yell directions (from all directions), hoping to help you smash it. So you swing wildly and probably miss. Then the next person steps up and also has no idea where to swing. When someone does manage to hit it, everyone is surprised.

Did anyone learn to swing more accurately? Of course not!

Are people around you blindfolded by a lack of feedback?

If giving performance feedback is so critical to success, why don’t more of us do it? No one enjoys being criticized, but we’re doomed without it.

Here are some techniques that all leaders can use to help institutionalize feedback and make it less awkward for everyone:

First, ask for it. If you aren’t yet in the habit of giving regular feedback, an easy way to start is to first ask for it. When you are sincerely interested in hearing feedback about your own performance, your credibility rises and your feedback will be more welcome – and eventually expected.

Speak slowly. Most of us tend to talk too fast when we’re nervous. Unfortunately when we do that, we project our nervousness and our listeners get nervous right along with us. This hampers listening tremendously. Practice makes perfect.

Make the discussion interactive. Talking the whole time will frustrate your listener and possibly build defensiveness. You’re more likely to get buy-in if you involve the other person in a conversation rather than a lecture.

We’ve all felt blindsided at some point in our careers, and it’s no fun. Make feedback a priority and changes will happen. We’re much more likely to succeed when we know where to swing.